Nagi was smiling. The rest of Schwarz, particularly Schuldig, found that unnerving. Schuldig tried on many attempts to correct this and send Nagi back into his normal state of near-suicidal-teen-angst mode, but he was still a little shaky from his time at Disney so, alas, every time he tried all Nagi had to do was start humming 'It's a Small World After All' and Schuldig would barricade himself into his room for the next three hours.

His new defense against Schuldig held vast powers over the corners of Nagi's mouth. The fact that he'd come back with an exploitable weakness almost made up for the fact that Schuldig had come back alive and healthy.

Nagi was smiling because he was happy, and he was happy because he had a friend. Having a friend was something new to him, and he was still adjusting to it, but it generally made him more happy than miserable, despite his paranoia.

He and Omi had been working together on the gay prom for about a week. A nagging thought had formed in the back of Nagi's mind, the thought that it would be rather nice to go to the prom with Omi. Then he would squash the thought with his normal pessimism and paranoia. The fates (or fan fiction Goddesses) had taken a break from shitting on him for awhile, this didn't mean they wouldn't start again the minute he got too complacent, and he decided not to push things.

Two days before the prom Nagi did some serious thinking. He'd accepted his attraction to Omi. The kid was nice, and cute, and male…that last part had seemed like an important factor for awhile but he got over that. He was already in the GSA and just about anyone who knew him thought he was a transgender, so it's not like he could do any more damage to his reputation by being gay. And Omi had flirted with him a little. Called him pretty…and cute.

He was going to do it. He was going to ask Omi to go to the gay prom with him. With his courage still in place and before his brain could catch up with him, he started walking purposefully towards the flower shop, determined to ask Omi as soon as he saw him.

He had a good twenty minute walk to think about things before he got there, and during said walk he did the best he could to keep his brain quiet. He was very relieved when he finally turned the corner that brought him in front of the Koneko No Sume Ie.

Omi came rushing out the front door as soon as he saw Nagi, looking absolutely ecstatic to see him. "Nagi! I'm so glad you're here, I need to tell someone, I'm so excited-"

"Calm down then. What's going on?" Nagi asked, confused and amused at his friend's antics.

Omi took a few deep breaths, a smile so wide it almost looked painful on his face. Then he screamed. "I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND!!!"

"W-what?" Nagi asked, a very forced smile on his face.

"I-asked-Ken-kun-to-go-to-the-prom-with-me, I-mean, I-figured-I-had-nothing-to-lose-anyway, right? So-I-asked-him-and-he-said-he'd-go-and-I-made-sure-he-knew-I-meant-it-was-as-a-date, and-he-was-okay-with-it-cuz-he-said-he-likes-me-a-lot-and…and…isn't that great?!" Omi squeaked happily, now jumping up and down.

"Y-yeah. Great." Nagi's mouth was starting to hurt from how pained the smile was. If Omi hadn't been in 'the guy I like just agreed to go out with me' stupid happy mode, he most likely would have noticed something was off. But he was so he didn't, and instead he kept inadvertently rubbing salt in Nagi's open wound.

"It's gonna be soooo great finally going with a date! Oh, I'm so happy I asked, it's going to be so much fun and I can't wait to tell everyone at the GSA. Ah! I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!" Omi danced around happily. A few of his admirers from the flower shop looked a little upset, but there seemed to be quite a few more who looked excited about it (that's right, the yaoi groupies).

"I just remembered I have to…leave now…for…stuff. See you later Omi." Nagi said awkwardly.

"Bye bye Nagi! See you tomorrow! Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend-" Omi chanted happily under his breath as he returned to the flower shop.

Nagi walked numbly back to the apartment building, up the five flights of stairs, past the living room where Schuldig was waiting for him, a determined yet evil look on his face. Nagi ignored him and continued straight to his room where he slammed the door and curled up in a fetal position on his bed.

Schuldig burst into his room anyway, looking triumphant.

"You think you can beat me this time, huh Naoe? Well I've had Farfarello singing 'It's a Small World After All' to me all morning, and I can handle it now. You have no weapon." Schuldig laughed gleefully, before pulling a data CD out of a jacket pocket. "This Nagi, is every file on your laptop. I deleted them all after saving them to this CD and threw out all of your back ups." He walked over to Nagi's window and opened it, then dangled the CD out the window.

"That nice." Nagi's voice was very quiet, and didn't sound normal somehow.

Schuldig stared in horror as Nagi burst into tears, sobbing loudly as he hugged his knees. He panicked, never having pushed Nagi that far before, he didn't know what to do.

"Nagi? Oh shit, calm down, I wasn't really gonna drop it! I mean, I was, but I won't now! Why are you crying?"

Nagi let out another loud sob. "Wa-a-a-h…I hate my life! I want to die!"

"Look, calm down. Sing 'It's a Small World'. It'll still freak me out, I promise! Or…or…smash me into a wall or something. Just stop crying!" Schuldig pleaded.

"I c-c-can't! I-I wanna die! I'm gonna d-die alone! No one loves me!"

"Did something happen?" Schuldig asked, as this was decidedly not the result of his CD game. 'No one loves me'… "With that Weiss kid?"

The mention of Omi sent Nagi into an even louder and more violent fit of sobs as he began rocking back and forth in his fetal position. Schuldig stared in horror, not sure of what to do, when Nagi calmed a bit and continued sobbing out information. "I w-went over to a-ask him out t-t-to the p-prom and he…he…he has a boyfriend already!" Nagi practically screamed, burying his face in his hands.

"Who?" Schuldig asked, dumbfounded.

"That idiot Hidaka!" Nagi answered, before breaking off into a coughing fit. He sounded like he was close to dry heaving. Schuldig very lamely pat his back.

"You gotta calm down kid, or you're going to make yourself sick. Listen, when people are that young, well…their relationships don't last very long. You can always swoop in and catch him on the rebound." Schuldig said gently.

"I want him to l-like me! I don't wanna c-catch him on the rebound!" Nagi yelled. "I don't w-want him to l-like Hidaka more than me!" Nagi wailed.

"Well…just…stay here and cry and don't kill yourself. I gotta…go." Schuldig left the room, not even entirely sure Nagi'd noticed him all that much anyway, and walked down the hall to Farfarello's room.

"Farf, do you have your knives?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Farfarello responded, opening the door. He had one of his knives sticking through the palm of his left hand.

"Right. Bandage that up and meet me by the car." Schuldig replied, turning towards his own room to find his gun. "Oh, and bring an elastic band."

SKIPPY SKIPPY

Ken smiled dazedly as he kicked a ball around the park. He was in a state of warm-gooey-stupid-happiness similar to Omi's, but he was being a lot less vocal about it. He'd started liking Omi a few months back, but he never figured Omi would like him back. He thought that he was the only gay member of Weiss, and he didn't really think he was lucky enough for the one guy that he liked to be gay too.

Ken was contemplating sending the kids home from soccer practice early. He wasn't really focused enough to be coaching them anyway. He kept glancing at his watch. As soon as the shop closed, he and Omi were going to go get dinner and see a movie together. He was about to call the kids in and tell them practice was over.

Then he heard tires screeching behind him.

He whipped around and spotted Farfarello and Schuldig hopping out of their car and heading towards him.

"Whatever you're doing leave the kids out of it." Ken growled at them.

"Kids? Oh, are they with you?" Schuldig responded, which got him an elbow in the ribs from Farfarello.

"Just come with us Siberian and we'll leave the children alone." Farfarello said quickly.

"Yeah. What he said." Schuldig agreed.

So a few minutes later Ken was in the backseat of their car, nervous and confused, as Schuldig drove to a part of town he didn't know very well. They stopped on a random side street, and yanked Ken out of the car. They pushed him down one of those convenient dark and empty dead ended alleys and threw him onto the ground.

Ken climbed to his feet quickly, and made to punch Schuldig, who easily dodged it, while Farfarello punched Ken in the gut. Ken hunched over, and Farf was about to stab him when Schuldig grabbed his arm.

<We're not allowed to leave any marks on him.>

<Sorry. I forgot. Can I threaten him with the knife?>

<Oh hell yes. We're trying to scare him. Make him wet himself Farfie.>

<Don't call me that.>

Farfarello held his knife up to Ken's throat. Ken froze, while Schuldig paced lazily in front of him.

"So I hear you've started seeing the Bombay kitten?" Schuldig finally asked.

"What business of yours is that?" Ken demanded.

"Plenty. You need to break it off with him." Schuldig responded, stopping in front of Ken.

'Oh God. Even our personal lives are intricately tied to Schwarz's evil schemes' Ken thought in a panic, and Schuldig had to try very hard not to laugh when he picked up that thought.

'Alright, let him think that.' Schuldig decided to himself.

"I'm not gonna break up with Omi because you told me to. You can kill me if you want. I love him and I'm not gonna stop seeing him." Ken said bravely, looking Schuldig in the eye.

"That's very sweet. But we have no intention of killing you." Schuldig said slowly. "Farfarello? Did you bring the rubber band?"

"All I could find was this." Farfarello responded, pulling a pink scrunchy out of his pocket.

<That's hardly very intimidating. Why do you even have a scrunchy?> Schuldig snapped furiously at him.

<I found it in your room. The question is why do you have one?>

<For my pretty hair of course. Urgh…it'll have to do.>

"Alright Ken-Ken. We're going to pay tribute to one of my favorite movies now. Have you ever seen Fight Club?" Schuldig asked. Ken shook his head. "Okay. We're going to make you choose between Omi or your balls."

SKIPPY SKIPPY

"Ken! I'm so happy to see you! I kept feeling like closing time would never come!" Omi squealed happily, throwing off his apron as he ran to hug his boyfriend. Then he noticed that Ken looked a little pale and flustered. "Are you okay?"

"Oh God Omi, I just had the weirdest thing in my life happen and I need to tell you-"

<You know Hidaka, we can still take your balls.>

"That I'm breaking up with you and I never really loved you." Ken said quickly.

Omi jumped back as though he'd been slapped. "Wh-what?"

"You're more like a little brother to me and I don't know what I was thinking but we can't be together. Sorry."

Omi ran crying up to his room, while Ken slumped to the floor in a heap.

LATER THAT NIGHT

"You know that was really almost sweet, what you did."

"Shut up. It was not."

"Really, it was."

"There were selfish motives."

"I couldn't see any."

"Listen Crawford, if I say there were selfish motives, then there were selfish motives!"

"…"

"…"

"What were those selfish motives Schuldig?"

"Well…he was no fun to torture when his spirit was broken!"

"Alright then. That can be your reason."

"It is the reason!"

"…"

"…"

"It was still nice what you did."

"Gah!"

LATER

The next day at school Omi ran sobbing up to Nagi and explained how Ken had mysteriously dumped him completely out of the blue. Stunned, Nagi held his sobbing friend and tried his best to comfort him, meanwhile plotting in the back of his head how soon he should try to pick Omi up on the rebound.