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This page could also be called spoilers-a-plenty. Weiss is one of those fandoms where the fan fiction tends to be of better quality than the canon material, therefore fangirls (and I hear there are even a couple fanboys out there...probably confused ones) have a tendency to watch the show once, start reading fan fiction and then get sucked so hard into the fanon that they forget what's canon and what's unofficial community consensus. I'm one of the ones who keeps cycling back to the canon for the sake of accuracy. So anywho, here are summaries of the canon I've encountered.

Weiss: An Assassin and White Shaman vol. 1&2
 
These be the two volumes of manga. Unfortunately they have only been released in Japan, and though it is possible for American fangirls to get them...it helps if you know Japanese (or have a friend who does! Yay Dragons'eye!) They're pretty different from the anime series as far as content goes, so fan fic authors don't usually pull that much insight from them, although making references to them are tons of fun.
 
Ran is the focus of the books, even more so than in the anime. He's working as a waiter when the building his parents work at is on the news. He and his sister run down to check it out, in time for Ran to see Schuldig and an unknown coworker blow the building to smithereens. Aya is struck by rubble and this is how she ends up in the coma, as opposed to being hit by a car. Ran decides to investigate on his own, and in the process runs into the three man Weiss unit. They have a confrontation that ends with him joining the team. In this canon Schuldig has a larger role than in the anime, due to his creepy stalker-like interest in Ran.
 
Kapitel
 
This is the first anime series, which encompasses five DVDs. The first three DVDs tie together into one overarching storyline, and the last two have their own overarching storyline.
 
In the first storyline we meet the Weiss; Aya, Ken, Yohji and Omi, over a long stretch of episodes designed to give backstory to each of them. They all have tales of woe that have lead them to their current positions as assassin-florists.
 
Aya's Tale of Woe
Ran Fujimiya is the unfortunate son of a banker with so little sense that he stayed employed to a man whose glasses glint evilly on a semi-regular basis. While Ran was taking his little sister out for her birthday their home was attacked, his parents killed and to finish everything off Takatori had Aya run down, apparently for kicks. Aya was put in a coma, Ran discovered that his family was singled out to take the blame for Takatori's own shady dealings, and he vowed revenge. He vows to use Aya's name until his revenge is finished, although he doesn't discard the name at any point thereafter.
 
Ken's Tale of Woe
Ken Hidaka was a promising athlete until he was accused of throwing games for profit, which ending his professional career. His ridiculously suspicious and evil friend Kase promised to help him figure out who was behind it, but of course Kase was the one drugging him, having sold him out for profit/spite. Kase goes on to have a successful career in organized crime while Ken ends up working for Kritiker and eventually has to kill his childhood friend. And Ken is such a sweetie that he even feels bad about it.
 
Yohji's Tale of Woe
Yohji Kudoh was a private investigator with his partner, the fiery Asuka Murase. The two took on a case in which they had to infiltrate a private hotel called Liott (but they probably mean Riot) where women are kept as hooker-slaves and for the right price men with violent kinks can even hack them to bits with chainsaws. They were supposed to get a their client's daugher out of the hotel, but their bust goes bad and they end up running for it and do an abysmal job. Yohji is shot, Asuka is 'killed' and after his personal tragedy Yohji goes to work for Kritiker.
 
Omi's Tale of Woe
Initially Omi's problem seems to be unrealistic-movie-style-amnesia related to when he was kidnapped as a small child and his parents refused his ransom. Oh boy does it get complicated from there. Omi was likely raised within the Kritiker bureaucracy, although this is conjecture, as it is Persia who rescues him from the kidnappers and at that point he doesn't remember his previous life as Mamoru Takatori. This comes back when the Weiss have to start killing his older brothers. What's more, Omi has been almost-dating his sister Ouka, whom he accidentally leads to death at the hands of two rival assassins in the group Schwarz (making them instant favorite characters for ridding the series of that particular pest). Omi discovers later that actually Ouka wasn't his sister, because Reiji Takatori wasn't actually his father, Shuichi Takatori was (and yes, he finds this out in DVD three which is how he knows it by Gluhen). So Ouka was his cousin and Hirofumi and Masafumi are half brothers. Once he realizes he has a father that isn't evil-koala-sideburns-man, of course said father dies before Omi can bond with him. Because his life is just nifty like that.
 
By the climax in disc three, the Weiss discover that Reiji Takatori didn't just fuck up Aya's life, he also had his hand in Liott, and Kase's group and of course he's responsible for quite a bit of Omi's woe, so they're all good and motivated to cut him down. Or rather, stand back and let Aya cut him down.
 
Afterwards they disband for a little while, Aya actually becomes a construction worker, Omi goes to school, Ken coaches soccer and Yohji sluts around. They're brought back together when Shrient, Masafumi Takatori's ridiculous hooker-assassins, start picking on them, even going as far as to kidnap Aya's comatose sister from the hospital. They spend the brunt of the next two discs putting out fires set by Shrient and Schwarz (not so ridiculous and decidedly bad-ass psychic assassins), Schrient dies and oh one of them was actually a brain-washed Asuka, more woe for Yohji, leading up to a necromantic ritual to raise some Cthultu knock-off that Esset, the organization that owns Schwarz, worships. However Schwarz do not have their leaders' best interests at heart, mutiny on the Esset Elders and use the Weiss as unwitting pawns to kill off a couple of them. They try to take off with Aya-chan, presumably as leverage, and face off against the Weiss when the building collapses. However, nobody dies.
 
OVAs
 
The Weiss are now operating out of a mobile flower shop and in this two episode bonus story they are faced against each other when Omi and Ken refuse to kill a target, and Yohji and Aya are cool with killing the target although things get a bit murky when Omi and Ken themselves become dark beasts because of their refusal. By the end of the episode we find out the whole Weiss killing each other thing is an elaborate ruse (Manx had been kidnapped and gave them fake missions with a codeword to let them know they were fake and she needed help), the real dark beast is taken out and there's only one innocent casualty this time. Sucks to be Akira.
 
Drama Discs
 
These are many, and unfortunately enough have not been released in English. However, Japanese speaking fan girls have done us the libtery of posting transcriptions for us (linkies to come) and they're pretty easy to track down. I've only read a couple so far, so this section is a work in progress with much better summaries to come.
 
What I do remember clearly without having to look it up are the two Schwarz-centric discs, as I read through the transcriptions repeatedly while writing Journey. This one's post-Kapitel but pre-Gluhen. Schwarz are holing up in Europe at the start of this one, when Farfarello takes off to come to the aid of Sally Schumars (I probably got that last name wrong, oops), a witch being pursued by Farblos, one of Rosenkreuz's big-bad teams. Farblos consists of Silvia, a telekinetic who owns at martial arts, Sergei Paranahov, whom I've classified as telekinetic but is distinguished by his psycho-barrier, and Armlisch, a blind precog. When Farfarello shows up with Sally and Farblos on his trail, the Schwarz are not happy. Well, Crawford and Schuldig aren't happy, Nagi doesn't know what's going on but Crawford and Schuldig fill him on in Farblos and how very dangerous they are and how dead they all soon will be. Schwarz does manage to defeat Farblos and Sally and Farfarello run off together to have a romantic happy ending (really, not kidding). Also there's a funny little moment when Schuldig realizes that he and Crawford have both slept with Silvia, and she blatantly prefers Crawford. In fact she tries to seduce him again and he shoots her in the face. Needless to say this storyline doesn't make the yaoi addicts in the community very happy and it is largely ignored, even by those aware of its existence. But I like challenges so in my ficcie it's canon.

Fangirl discomfort with the Schwarz discs is also somewhat funny when you realize that the only canon references to Rosenkreuz are made in the discs and Gluhen, both projects most fangirls hate. Yet Rosenkreuz is pretty much universally acknowledged as a good plot idea and something that makes Schwarz more compelling (dare I say more compelling than the Weiss...?)
Gluhen
 
Another storyline that is loathed by much of the community is Gluhen. This second anime series met with some legal discomfort when the artist who designed most of the characters used in the series wanted payment, and surprise-surprise she won the lawsuit. So the characters were redesigned, not as prettily and we all know that's what the shallow fangirls really care about. You know, despite the fact that this one was well animated and the storyline much less riddled with plot holes, but whatever.
 
Omi is now going by Mamoru Takatori and has taken on the role of Persia. He's sent Aya undercover to work at the Kowa Academy, a school with a suspiciously high suicide rate, even for Japan. New Weiss members Sena and Ryo accompany him disguised as students while Aya teaches history (very badly at that, but the students like him). One of Sena's friends gets inducted into a secret society in the school whose initation happens to include ritualistic murder (can you smell the Esset influence?). The girl snaps, dies in a tale of woe aimed at Sena and the school is taken over by the students.
 
The faculty manages to restore order eventually, although Ryo is lost in the process. Yohji and Ken are called in from their work in Europe, Ken posing as a student and Yohji as an art teacher. Yohji's mental state is worse than its been all series and, demonstrating Weiss' complete lack of psychiatric care, his mission involves seducing a suspected big-bad at the school, Tsuji, which makes him further nuts. I'm guessing he preferred being a slut to being a whore. Anywho, the Weiss unconver a genetics lab and a project to clone a super-psychic for better world domination. When things are compromised, Rosenkreuz supplies Esset with a new team consisting of scary looking trench coated psychics, Berger (telepath), Layla (telekinetic) and Geisel (pyrokinetic) specifically. Guess whose DNA they were created with? Crawford, Schuldig and Nagi make an appearance at the final showdown to take out their clones, Yohji almost sells his soul to Esset in hopes of having his memory erased and Aya, Sena, Ken and Omi take on Esset's head honcho, a computer program inhabiting Sena's mommy. Sena dies (yay!), the building is blown up by Crashers, almost everyone makes it out alive (yay!) although Yohji is left behind and Crawford is lying alone in a bloody heap (...?).
 
Wrap-up episode. Mamoru is unhappily continuing in his role as Persia, mostly because he doesn't trust anyone else to run his friends' lives. He is looking for new talent though. Yohji recovered from being blown up but he managed to lose his memory. He flirts with a nurse at his hospital named Asuka and ends up marrying her and moving into a house in the suburbs and getting a typical businessman type job, thus a happy ending (although not to the fangirls). Ken's in prison (never adequately explained) and Nagi and Aya are still in Weiss. Aya, though, isn't chill with that. He makes last arrangements, calls his sister (who is working at the Koneko) but doesn't speak to her, gives all his money to a nun and then gets knifed on the streets and the series ends with him waiting to die.
 
This series spans three discs, and like I said before, it's pretty quality, especially compared to Kapitel, but sadly not as popular. 
Weiss Side B

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just like a crimson red carpet