Chikin went off and considered how to pull this off without being lazy. “Goddamn eMu sucks.” She considered some more, and had a wonderful idea. Using the abilities all ficcie Goddesses possess, she snapped her fingers and the eight main characters of her WK ficcie suddenly appeared.

Farf grabbed his throat, eyes wide, and then looked around. “I thought I was being strangled!”

“Yeah, well now we’re pre-Christmas. So not yet.” Chikin explained.

“I’m confused!” Farf exclaimed.

“So are the readers. So, I summoned you all for this little pow-wow. You’re going to tell the readers what happened between October and December.” Chikin said brightly.

“But it hasn’t happened yet.” Yohji noted.

“It has!” Chikin insisted.

“But you didn’t write it.” Crawford added.

“But we planned it. In a we kinda did sorta way.” Chikin said hesitantly.

“Can we make stuff up?” Schuldig asked.

“No!” Chikin yelled. “Only we’re allowed to do that! And we as in eMu and I!”

“Yeah, where’s the surly one?” Nagi asked, looking around.

“She’s off being stupid. Anyway, one of you start.” Chikin said in a happy way that was almost threatening.

“Well for starters Crawford got his ass kicked by Farf.” Nagi said dryly.

“What? I don’t remember that.” Chikin muttered.

“Well he asked Farfarello to find him priests. What d’ya think would happen?” Nagi asked pointedly.

“Well I dunno…Crawford’s kinda tall. And he’s a boxer-” Chikin started.

“What? Where did this rumor start? I’m not a boxer!” Crawford snapped.

“Well you’re not a dunk tank clown either, but y’know. Or at least not a professional one. Anyway, continue. Farfarello attacked Crawford…” Chikin started.

“And he had to get lotsa stitches and go to the hospital.” Schuldig put in.

“Who did?” Chikin asked.

“Both of them.” Schuldig decided.

Suddenly, Crawford and Farfarello were covered with scars. Farfarello now had so many scars that they actually evened out to one skin tone.

“That’s kinda creepy.” Farfarello noted, inspecting his new skin tone. “I’m shiny.”

“Dude…” Schuldig had an evil smile.

“This is kinda wrong. Just Crawford.” Chikin decided, and Farfarello went back to normal.

“Shiny’s all gone.” Farf sniffled.

“I’m not okay with this.” Crawford snapped. “I look like- uh…Farfarello.”

Poof!

Two Farfs.

“Hey!” Farfarello that was formerly Crawford exclaimed. “I didn’t mean that literally.”

“Well you should say what you mean.” Chikin snapped. “But I think eMu will yell at me if I make you guys look unrecognizable.” And as such, Crawford was transformed back into himself, pre-scars. “So to settle this, Crawford did get scars, but they were on his head so no one can see them because they’re covered by his hair.”

“So Crawford got a lobotomy?” Schuldig asked. And suddenly Crawford was drooling with a vacant look on his face.

“Bleh.” Crawford said.

“That’s just tasteless. Schuldig, stop playing with Crawford!” Chikin ordered, changing Crawford back.

“So…anything I say happens?” Schuldig muttered thoughtfully. “Nagi died in a fire.”

Poof.

“Hey!” Omi squeaked. His eyes watered in puppy dog mode as he stared at the ashes that, a moment before, had been his boyfriend sitting next to him. “He was resurrected!”

“Bleh.” Said the zombie Nagi that poofed in.

“No! Not resurrected, rescued! Alive! He didn’t die! No burns!” Omi paused for a second. “And he gained a few inches. And he stopped whining so much. He became less of a pity whore. And he appreciated thoughtful Christmas presents.”

Omi kept listing off things, while Chikin grew angrier and angrier, and suddenly Nagi popped in as Fabio, eliciting screams from all gathered.

Fabio looked down at himself, and then yelped. “Aaaah! What did you do to me?!” Pause as Fabio registered his accent. “What the hell?! I sound like an idiot! Though my hair is rather soft.”

“You’re not allowed to change your boyfriend Omi!” Chikin scolded.

Omi was now crying, his face buried in his hands.

“Omi, I thought you liked me the way I was.” Fabio sniffled.

“That’s just wrong.” Ken muttered.

“Ah! Get away from me, you’re scary!” Omi whimpered.

Fabio then ran away crying.

“Wait! Nagi! I can learn to love you!” Omi yelled, chasing after him.

A very disgruntled Chikin buried her face in her hands and screamed. She counted backwards from ten, and when she looked up she had a smile on her face. “Okay. Everything’s back to normal. Let’s try this again. Last time everyone, or you’re all going to Rosenkreuz. The hap-happiest place on earth.”

“But I don’t-” Aya started.

“Even the ones without powers!” Chikin shrieked. “Alright. Aya, since you volunteered, what happened in the storage closet?”

Pause.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Aya muttered, turning red.

Ken smiled vacantly. He opened his mouth to speak, but Aya cut him off.

“Ken died, his heart seized.” Aya snapped.

Ken grabbed his heart and fell over.

“And then Aya, trapped in the storage closet for weeks, began eating Ken’s body to live.” Yohji put in.

A crazy glint appeared in Aya’s eyes, and he charged over to Farfarello and began gnawing on his shoulder. Farf looked at him, shrugged, and then looked at Chikin intently. “What happened next?”

“Aya’s a cannibal…No! Start over!” Chikin ordered. Ken was suddenly alive again, and the crazy glint left Aya’s eyes. He was still chewing on Farfarello, however. He stopped, and slowly backed away. Farfarello gave him a little wave, while Aya backed over to his seat next to Ken.

“Look…when I got back from the hospital I found Aya and Ken necking in the storage closet, which wasn’t locked. Ken pushed where he should have pulled.” Yohji said.

Aya suddenly tensed, embarrassed, and then glared at Yohji.

“Hey, at least I censored it.” Yohji said defensively. “Unless you want me to tell them about what you were shouting-”

“And we’re leaving off there.” Chikin interrupted. “At least someone actually mentioned something that happened.

“No! He was lying! He was lying…although while we were in the storage closet Ken told me about his perfect grades in high school. And how he got accepted to several major universities but turned away from them.”

“I did?” Ken asked, and then suddenly his IQ improved dramatically. “Although I did want to pursue my dream in soccer. Which, in retrospect seems rather foolish. And it was extremely foolish of me to continue trusting that Kase fellow, when he was the only person who could have drugged me in the first place.”

Chikin glared at Aya, who no longer spoke aloud, but instead began muttering things very quickly under his breath. Ken went through several changes very quickly.

Yohji glared at Aya, and then began muttering things about him being more nice, accepting and open.

Chikin was foolishly ignoring them, and instead turned to Schuldig.

“So…how did you and Yohji get out of the hospital?” Chikin asked.

“We threatened to sue for malpractice. Oh, and I got a vaccination for sea turtles.” Schuldig muttered. “By the way Yohji, you’re due for your mamogram in about a week.”

Yohji stopped changing Aya, and then smacked a hand to his forehead. “I hate that hospital.”

Aya now sported a sensitive pony tail and glasses. He turned to Yohji spitefully. “Yohji got a really dumb hair cut. And he stopped wearing a shirt, and he got into finger painting.”

Poof.

Chikin grinded her teeth. “So! What else happened? Crawford! How was the World Series?”

But Crawford was now too busy in a war with Schuldig where they were changing each other.

“Farfarello! You’re not doing anything destructive right now…which is a turnaround, do you know how the World Series turned out?” Chikin asked.

Farfarello pondered for a minute. “The Yankees won?”

Crawford stopped. He turned and glared at Farfarello, muttered quickly under his breath, and Farfarello disappeared.

“Hey! Where is he?” Chikin asked.

“The Red Sox won the World Series. They beat the Cardinals in a sweep. And I was there.” Crawford said forcefully.

“And we saw something very disturbing on the TV.” Schuldig snickered. “Crawford the super fan getting thrown out of the stadium for drunkenly assaulting Cardinals fans.”

Chikin looked at Crawford for a moment, expecting him to argue. “Did that really happen?”

“Maybe.” Pause. “I wish not to comment.”

“Alright Chikin, I’m ready to start writing now-what the fuck?!” eMu screamed, walking into the room. “What the hell did you do?!”

“I summarized.” Chikin said proudly. “So we can start writing the after the Holiday Special stuff.”

“You created GLUHEN!!!” eMu screamed, smacking her.

And indeed she had. The results of Schuldig and Crawford’s changing war had given Crawford gray helmet hair, a monocle, disturbed eye brows and a really messed up military uniform with lacy sleeve cuffs. Schuldig’s hair now had curled split ends, he had a really dumb hat, and was wearing tight red pants, a dumb yellow jacket and suspenders.

Aya had turned Ken into a slightly more intelligent version of himself, gotten rid of the problems he had with killing, and made him look like a male model.

Yohji had turned Aya into a sensitive teacher with a braid, and Aya had turned him into a straight cowboy. (Wow. -A/N) With bad hair.

“Where the hell are Omi, Nagi and Farf?!” eMu demanded.

“Farf’s not in Gluhen.” Chikin noted.

“He is too! It’s just for like a second!” eMu shouted. There was a flicker of Farfarello and then he was gone. “Gah! Well where are Omi and Nagi, and who the hell is that?!” eMu demanded, pointing at an Omi wannabe.

“My name’s Sena. I’m the new Omi.” Sena introduced himself.

Omi and Nagi wandered back, looking like their Gluhen selves. “But I’m Omi!” Omi insisted.

“Mmm mm. You’re Mamoru.” Sena said.

“Who the hell is Mamoru!?” Omi shouted.

“You are.” Sena stated.

“I hate him.” Nagi said, narrowing his eyes at Sena.

eMu looked ready to explode.

Chikin looked around expectantly. “Where’s Todo?!”

“GAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” eMu screamed. Suddenly, it was all fixed, and the bishonen were back in their sometimes inconsistently animated yet highly loved forms. And Sena was gone. Thank God. They were all transported out, and eMu fixed a killing glare on Chikin.

“I tried to help!” Chikin sniffled.

“Okay, well how much of the story did you get out?” eMu demanded.

“I dunno. It was confusing.” Chikin muttered.
“This is why we can’t have conversations with the characters! You make them run off on tantrums!” eMu yelled.

“This is why we can’t go to nice places, this is why we can’t have nice things. Nag, nag, nag.” Chikin mocked. “Hey, don’t you mean tangents?”

“No. I mean tantrums. Okay, this is what happened. Yohji and Schuldig got out of the hospital, Yohji’s leg wasn’t really broken, his charts were mixed with some other Kudoh there, because that is a common assed last name, I’ve seen it in three other mangas. They found Aya and Ken making out in the storage closet, which wasn’t really locked. Crawford went to the World Series and drunkenly assaulted Cardinals fans, which is extra pathetic since they are nowhere near as aggressive as Yankee fans. And Schwarz did see him on TV dressed like a super fan. That’s it, Go! Back to December!”

“It’s January now.” Chikin pointed out.

“December 25th! Go!” eMu shouted.

“Ooo! Fan fiction powers on!” Chikin squealed.